Video: It Came From Your Door Panel
Old speakers are your worst nightmare
Factory speakers are the bane of every music lover's existence. They're just not built to withstand the conditions inside your car over time. Fortunately, we carry all kinds of aftermarket speakers that are built to survive — and thrive — in these harsh conditions.
So dim the lights, pop some corn, grab a loved one...and get ready to witness the terror that lurks inside your car's door panel.
Scene 1: outdoors
SALLY: Are you sure this is a good idea?
PAUL: We're almost there, baby. It's gonna be great, you'll see.
SALLY: I don't know, Paul.
PAUL: See? Look, we're here. Isn't it great?
SALLY: Paul, this is an old graveyard!
PAUL: Right. There's no one around for miles and miles. Just you and me.
SALLY: Paul, I'm starting to freak out. Let's get out of here!
PAUL: It's OK, baby, don't worry about it. I'm here. Hey, let's listen to some music, OK?
SALLY: Paul, what's that awful noise?
PAUL: I don't know. Sounds like something in the graveyard. I'll go check it out.
SALLY: Paul, no!
PAUL: It's okay, baby, you'll see.
SALLY: No, Paul, don't!
SALLY: Paul! Paul!
PAUL: Sally! Help! AHHHHHHHH! Ha ha ha. You should see your face right now!
SALLY: Oh, you're a jerk!
PAUL: See? I told you. Nothing to worry about.
SALLY: Yeah, very funny. Can we go now?
PAUL: Oh, c'mon, baby, just a few more minutes. We're just getting started. Here.
PAUL: Oh, c'mon, now, this is ridiculous.
SALLY: Paul, no! Let's just get out of here.
PAUL: Not before I find out who's doing this. Hey! Hey, who's out there? Oh, no! Oh, no, no, Sally.it's coming from the door panel!
SALLY: (blood-curdling scream)
Scene 2: inside Crutchfield Labs
DR. SMITH: Dr. Guterklang, this is Sally. She's had an encounter with one of those.things. Lucky for her, one of our men was in the area at the time, or, like her boyfriend, she wouldn't be here right now.
DR. GUTERKLANG: Fraulein. My sincerest apologies.
SALLY: Thank you, doctor.
DR. SMITH: Thanks to Sally's report, we know exactly what we're up against. Unfortunately, it's worse than we imagined. The epidemic is spreading, doctor. Faster than we ever expected.
DR. GUTERKLANG: Mein Gott! Then there is no time to lose. Fraulein Sally, this is what you're up against.
DR. GUTERKLANG: Have no fear, my dear. Our men have secured it. We found it not far from your last location. Now, I have prepared a presentation. You see, the factory speaker, found in so many vehicles, is not suited for the extreme conditions found on the Earth. The complex operation of humidity, heat, cold, and extreme fluctuations, and the counteraction between the two makes the surround deteriorate and the cheap paper cone tear. So, there's no bass, there's heavy distortion.and most of all, the sound becomes pure evil!
SALLY: What can you do? How can you stop it?
DR. SMITH: We've been working on a project for some time.a solution designed to combat just such an epidemic. Doctor, I think it's time to launch the Crutchfield Speaker Initiative.
DR. GUTERKLANG: Send in the speaker!
DR. SMITH: You see, Sally, the only way to fight the effect of a factory speaker that's turned evil is with a new speaker. Observe.
SALLY: That's amazing! But if you put one in a car door, won't it develop the same problems eventually?
DR. SMITH: Actually, no. See these new speakers - we in the scientific community refer to them by their clinical name: aftermarket - are designed to meet the demands of weather and heavy use that they'll get in the car. See, the butyl rubber surround is strong and durable. And the woofer cone is designed to withstand distortion and promote monster-slaying low and mid note playing. These even have a sophisticated tweeter which reinforces and produces clear highs. And the best part: the scientifically advanced construction means that they sound great.
SALLY: So, no more murderous noise?
DR. SMITH: No, Sally, no more murderous noise. Just soothing, clear music. But, we have to get these into every vehicle in America!
VOICEOVER: And so, the brave members of the Crutchfield Speaker Initiative spread the word across the country, bringing great sound and joy to people everywhere. But their battle is not over, for the evil still lurks. As close, perhaps, as your door panel.